A loving roast. An unreliable teammate.

Big head.
Bigger excuses.

Jordan’s official unofficial roast page. Fresh nonsense and suspiciously familiar excuses, one button at a time.

Let the roasting begin
THE MAN. THE MYTH.
Playful cartoon illustration of Jordan in a smiley-face T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, holding a green glass bong.
Jordan, allegedly.Currently unavailable for Rocket League.
PROBABLY
OUT OF TOWN
01 / Roast Jordan● Ready
Big-head looking boy. Your passport photo needs landscape mode.
Deeply unserious. Unfortunately specific.

02 / The excuse department● Excuses ready
Might be going out of town. Haven’t picked a town yet, but I’m committed to the possibility.
Fictional. Suspiciously familiar.